The two older ones now 25 and almost 20 serve in combat units in the Israeli army (the older one is in the reserves).
People ask us all the time whether we worry about them.
Yes we do.
But we worried so much more when they were 17.
A cold shiver went up our spine every time they asked for the car keys to go out.
If they didn’t make it home when we told them to we began to worry and if they still didn’t get home we went out looking for them.
We tried to calm ourselves down hoping that they just lost track of time but we knew that a 17 year old man/boy is probably the most likely to die stupidly than at any time in his life.
A long, long time ago we were 17 ourselves.
And like most 17 year olds we felt probably half of the body of law was written specifically to give cops a reason to hassle us.
As minors we were breaking the law if we drank, smoked or were out past the too early and arbitrarily imposed curfew, that magically disappeared at the stroke of midnight on our 18th birthday.
We were stopped at least a dozen times at 17. Stopped but not arrested because we were more afraid of father and what he would do to us if we were.
He told us what he would do in the TALK.
“I know you are feeling your oats,” he said. “You are young and strong and you think you are a bad ass. You ain’t and if you get hurt or killed and make your mother cry I will cut you n—s off.”
Few things get through to a 17 year old boy, but castration does.
We had the same TALK with our sons and it worked more or less. They survived being 17.
We don’t know if Treyvon Martin had the TALK with his dad. Or if he did, it obviously didn’t sink in otherwise he would not have gotten into a fist fight with a man who was packing.
Add or subtract five years to Martin’s age and no one dies. At 12 he would have been too scared and at 22 too smart to tangle with a man he was obviously taller and stronger than.
No such man ever starts a confrontation without having a bit of back up whether it be friends or a weapon.
It is a simple lesson but one that has to be learned sometimes the hard way.
And as for George Zimmerman?
We were 28 once ourselves and the only time we went packing and patrolling was because we were ready and willing to use it.
There are no heroes in this story.
But enough stupidity to go around.
When one is stupid at 28 someone gets killed.
When one is stupid at 17, one dies.